“From now one I will tell you of new things, of hidden things unknown to you…This is what the Lord says– your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.”-Isaiah 48:6,17(NIV)
I woke up today literally hearing the Lord’s voice say, “welcome to the unknown.”
Welcome to the unknown. Um…thanks but I much prefer the known.
See, I have routines and expectations that keep my life in appropriate “order”. No matter what role I am in, I know what is expected of me. I am wildly proficient at wearing whatever hat is required of me. I am a master at making sure that what needs to get done, gets done and gets done well.
In other words, knowing is my drug. It keeps me exactly where I need to be–in control.
If I know what you need, I can give it.
If I know your expectation, I can meet it.
If I know your desire, I can become it.
I am addicted to knowing because I am incredibly afraid of not being wanted and eventually being abandoned. I have used the crutch of knowing my entire life to keep myself proficient at becoming whatever anyone needs so that I am, well… “necessary”.
To the project.
To the movement.
To the household.
The unknown is the place where my performance and striving cease. Where the truth of my identity as a beloved child of God begins to take shape. Where the lie that I have to perform for God in order to be loved by Him is deconstructed and where what I profess on my lips actually becomes the true beat of my heart.
“Welcome to the unknown”, He whispers.
Yes, Lord. To the unknown.
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