*I’m so excited to have Tasha contribute here today. Tasha is a much loved Holy Yoga Instructor and writes mainly at Breathing In Him. Check her out!
April can go now. We’ve had enough time together. As much as I try to live in the present, I’m ready to move on. It’s been a month. My bad barely scratches the surface of what God has called some of my loved ones to walk through. My 27 year old cousin elected to have a double mastectomy. She carries the BRCA gene. The broken heart and shattered dreams of a friend who miscarried…a friend who has lost all hope in her marriage, friends with children in the hospital….anxiety & depression showing up unwanted and so unexpected…and then there was Boston. And list goes on…ruins all around.
And so Thursday when I got the dreaded call back after a routine mammogram, I hit the wall. They tell me they just need another image because there was movement on one image (whatever that means!?!?). “So no need to worry, but can you come now because the radiologist needs to be there”. I can read between the lines..
It’s word used 74 times in the Bible –71 times in the Psalms and three times in Habakkuk and it means to stop, pause, and listen. Another interpretation claims that selah comes from the primary Hebrew root word salah which means “to hang”, and by implication to measure or weigh.
I drive straight to the imaging center and I check in and wait. And wait some more.
And Pray. A lot. And I go to do what all good 21st century Jesus freaks do, I grab my iPhone – my instant connection to all things Jesus. In 2 seconds I can have my online Bible and hundreds of people praying for me. But no bars. No signal. No prayers. No Word.
And so one more image turns into needing an ultrasound and as I lay there waiting scared, the word comes. Selah. He was saying “Selah, Tasha”. Pause, stop, listen, hang on to ME. Hang on to who I AM and whose YOU ARE. Soak in the measure and the weight of who I am; the weight of my power and the measure of deep concern and love I have for you. I am enough regardless of what may come today. I’m always enough. Everlasting to everlasting. Selah.
And when the radiologist came in to tell me everything was fine – just some cysts that I need not worry about – you would think I would jump for joy. Instead, I burst into tears. Poor guy.
But I had just experienced one of the most intimate moments ever with The One who calls me His beloved. Totally overwhelmed by love.
I praise Him for my results. And I praise Him for no bars. Technolgy is good. No, its great, and prayer so much more. But in that moment He knew exactly what I did and didn’t need. And I praise Him because, left unto myself, I would have missed spending sweet selah time in the presence of my Holy God.